i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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