HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
