It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
