we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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