We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
