You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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