I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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