is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
