Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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