I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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