Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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