My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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