so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
