I heard we made out
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
foreskin is a definite game changer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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