She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
