It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
