wat bout pragnant strippers??
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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