i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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