If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
