HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
