You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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