Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
