She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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