Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
