he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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