in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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