There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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