i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
