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I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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