dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
