You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
