HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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