i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
