why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
