Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
