Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
