Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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