Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
