I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
