I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
