we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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