And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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