Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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