Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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