I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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