I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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