not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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