hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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