I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
