if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
